When I was a kid, on Saturday mornings, my mom used to take my sister and I to our grandma’s house. I loved Grandma but I was never super excited about these visits because it usually involved me sitting in her living room listening to the adults talk. I would wait patiently feigning interest, squirming a bit, hoping Grandma would offer us a snack. I knew from experience I needed to put in at least 15 minutes of listening duty in order to not make Mom mad; then, I could find the right moment in the conversation to make a break for it and run outside to play.
Once I was out in the yard, I was free again to be a kid, free from from adult worries and concerns, other family members’ problems, illnesses, aches and pains, doctor visit discussions, and bills. On those Saturday mornings, I would find anything to play with in my grandma’s yard which usually meant an old deflated or popped ball from the grocery store. I would heave the ball up on the slanted roof of her garage, lose sight of it for a minute, then catch it as it came rolling back down into view. I usually counted how many times I could catch the old ball in a row.
As I type this, it makes me think how much childhood has changed. I am sure kids today would pity me for having to entertain myself this way with no video games to play.😂
Every once in a while though, and it was never predictable, we would roll up to my grandma’s house and not get out of the car. Instead, she would come out of her house and get in the vehicle with us. When this happened, Grandma would always open the door, sit in the front seat next to my Mom, place her purse down, and look back at us and say the same thing every time.
“Hey, sugar.”
My sister and I would respond the same way every time, too.
“Hey Grandma, do you have any gum?”
At that point my grandma would go into her purse, fish around a little bit, and pull out a stick of gum for my sister and I and with that, our ritual was complete. I can’t ever remember a time when Grandma did not have gum in her pocketbook. Never. Not once.
When Grandma was in the car, we knew we were going one of three places: K-Mart, her sister Elsie’s, or our Great Grandma’s house (which Grandma always referred to simply as Mama’s). All three of these places were within a 5 mile radius of her house and Grandma never really left that orbit. For years.
When I think of all the traveling we have done and the miles and miles driven or flown, and I think about my grandma walking or riding around within this small area for most of the decades of her life, it makes me want to run right out the door, hop in the car, and drive anywhere! Just remembering those few blocks makes me feel claustrophobic. But the thing is, when I got older, I would often ask Grandma if she wanted to go anywhere and she would always say no. And she meant it.
I would try to convince her to go somewhere with us and she would just smile and say:
”Noooo. Not me.”
I would put on the charm and the charisma using my best sales pitches and her answer would always be the same. She seemed perfectly content to stay in her small world. She didn’t need any vacations or trips. Walking around the block was enough.
My grandmother grew up poor in Lynchburg, Virginia and she pretty much stayed that way throughout her life. For many of the years I knew her, she was living on social security and never spent more money than she received each month. Debt was a blasphemous concept to her. As a child of the Great Depression, she never forgot those tough lessons.
Once, as an adult, I was visiting with her during the last months of her life, and we started talking about credit cards and she said she had never not paid her credit card off completely at the end of each month. She said just the thought of not paying it off would keep her up at night.
I said to her…”Grandma…never?”
She said…”Never. Not once. Noooo…”
As I sat across from her, I was sadly thinking that I probably had a credit card or two that I NEVER paid off at the end of the month for years.
To the outside world, it might look like my grandma didn’t have much but she was schooling her grandson with three college degrees in economics, efficiency, principles, discipline, and commitment without even trying. Throughout her long life she had very little but she found a way to be content with it and she found a way to share the little she had with us.
Long into my adulthood, I could always count on a birthday card from my Grandma with a five dollar bill in it. I can remember in my 20’s thinking why is she still doing this? Surely she could use this $5.00 more than me but it was important to her to let me know I was not forgotten. It was important to her that I knew she still remembered the day I was born.
When I think back on all of my birthdays as an adult, I can’t remember a single present I received and I know I received plenty! What I do remember though is my grandma’s card and the five dollars that came with it every year. She was sending her valuable lesson to me over and over again, the one she lived faithfully by for decades, sometimes less is more.
I can’t stop feeling this in my soul… always the gum from my GG… juicy fruit… 😭😭😭what a simple time it was for us truly …