For the month of August, our children Jack, Emma, and Henry will each write an essay for our Travels Across America and Lessons in Life Substack publication. We are giving them no explicit directions or instructions. We want them to write about what they want to and share with you all what they think is important and what they have learned and enjoyed by traveling across the USA. We hope it will inspire you all to hit the road as often as you can with your families, too. Whether it’s a trip right up the street to a National Historic site or a long journey by plane for 100s of miles across the country, just go! Life is short.
First up to bat is Emma.
When I reflect on the road trips and flights I have been on with my family, it is always the emotions I remember, not the individual travel destinations. Emotions like the excitement and anticipation I feel before each trip as I decide which clothes are absolute necessities and which songs I need to download on my phone before we go. I think of the energy and motivation produced from the deep conversations we have about life and our futures as we traverse diverse landscapes or sit in bumper to bumper traffic. I remember the sigh of relief we feel as we pull our trusty Toyota into a Marriott and try to determine if there is a Texas Roadhouse (our go to spot across the USA) nearby for dinner. The curiosity, the joy, the togetherness: these are the emotions I remember that characterize our travels to new places in our never ending desire to escape the monotonous routine of everyday life whenever we can.
It is also these emotions that propelled me to move nearly 2800 miles away from Virginia Beach and away from my family when I graduated high school. The summer before my senior year, I looked at potential colleges abroad like Trinity College in Ireland and the University of Manchester in England. I researched various universities around the United States as far away as the University of Hawaii. I knew I wanted to go to college in a new location where I could experience something different than what I was used to in Virginia.
Eventually, my search settled on UC Berkeley in Northern California and UCLA in Southern California. I applied to eight other schools as well, all of them, out of state. When people asked what my dream school was, I kept my cards close to my chest. I didn’t want to get my hopes up even a little bit. But I knew deep down, I was putting all of my positive vibes and energy toward the two California schools.
When I received my acceptance email to UCLA on March 15th, 2018, I let out tears which had been building up my entire life. I knew at that exact moment I would be attending UCLA, the number one public university in the country (Dad added that fact). Although, a couple days later when I was also accepted to UC Berkeley, it made my decision a little more difficult. The prestige and academic reputation of UC Berkeley was a strong draw as was the proximity to San Francisco but my heart was set on Silicon Beach, not Silicon Valley. I pretended to debate between the two until the last minute. I even convinced my parents that I could make my decision without ever having set foot on UCLA’s campus because I was so confident that my future was at UCLA and in Los Angeles.
I spent the entire summer before my freshman year at UCLA watching the virtual tours over and over again, tracking the exact route my Uber would take from LAX to campus, and figuring out how I was going to fit my entire wardrobe into the two free checked bags I was allotted for my Southwest flight. One of my suitcases ended up weighing 80 pounds! I’m still not sure how I maneuvered it across UCLA’s campus.
As I thought about attending college in Los Angeles, I was filled with adrenaline, excitement, and anticipation. All the same emotions that so often characterized our family adventures.
The only small fears I felt were, I’m sure, typical of all new college students. I wondered if I would make friends easily, if I would like my classes, if I would become really close with my roommates. I felt only excitement for the long plane ride ahead and the opportunity to reinvent myself in a completely new city where I knew no one. Our family road trips had trained me to be curious, to be open to new experiences, to meet new people, to endure and be patient during long stretches of driving, to fit everything I own into two suitcases, to be ready to go in a moment’s notice, and to leave home in search of something different.
However, our trips did not prepare me for the homesickness I would soon feel. Whenever we were coming to the end of a trip, we would always long for Virginia Beach and our own beds. That was a homesickness I was used to and could handle. I was not prepared for the separation and distance from my family I experienced so acutely during my freshman year.
I was incredibly lucky to grow up with two loving parents, two amazing brothers, and a protective flock of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who all lived 20 minutes down the road. As a kid, my family was my world. I was accustomed to seeing their faces and hugging them everyday. I started each day expecting my little brother Henry to run into my room and jump on my bed to wake me up in the mornings. I could depend on the fact that we would sit down at the dinner table as a family of five every night, even if that table was most frequently in a restaurant.
Then, all of the sudden, my Uber dropped me off on the curb at UCLA and I was alone. I walked to class, alone. I ate dinner in the dining halls, alone. I went to showings of new movies on campus, alone. I refused to let myself truly feel all the pain of that separation because I knew how lucky I was to attend UCLA. But, as a result, I could not get very close to anyone new without breaking down emotionally. Every new experience I had and every new person I met, reminded me of the togetherness, love, and happiness I had left behind. I did not yet know how to cultivate those things on my own.
Luckily, with time, I figured it out. Once I moved into an apartment and truly started to build a life in California, everything started to come together. I met lifelong friends that now feel like a second family to me and who value travel as much as I do.
I discovered amazing restaurants and attended countless movie premieres, in true Hollywood fashion. I even started driving and trying to navigate LA’s infamous traffic!
My family has had the opportunity to visit me in California a few times this year and it is in these moments, in my new home with my loved ones, that my heart is truly full. Now, with my dream job and full-time position at NBCUniversal starting next week and my commitment to living in LA for at least the next few years, my Hollywood hopes have come to life. The hard work in school, the sacrifices I made, and the separation I endured were worth it. The lessons I learned on the road about curiosity, anticipation, planning, family, and patience have paid off.
I hope California will be my family’s desired travel destination in the future when they get that old urge to flee Virginia. I will never take time with them for granted. Any chance I am able to be with them, even if it is just for a week or two, I will cherish.